Jesus asked a lot of questions—even though He already knew all the answers. Instead of just giving information, he challenges people to reflect on what they truly love and desire. What do you want? Are you hungry or thirsty? What drives you?
As Christians, we ought to shape our discipleship around asking questions rather than just handing people a set of beliefs. Or at least find a balance. It is usually better to set aside the catechism books and actually listen to people. That’s what makes the Alpha program, which started years ago at Holy Trinity Brompton in London, so effective—it begins with honest conversation. Like any meaningful project or legal process, it starts with a discovery phase before jumping to conclusions.
This morning, I read a passage where Paul speaks to the Church at Philippi:
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to test and prove what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ. Phil 1:9-10.
Many therapists, particularly those who use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, operate on the principle that you are what you think—change your thinking, and your life will improve. But Paul’s prayer suggests a different perspective: you are what you love. Jesus challenges the assumption that humans are primarily thinking beings, proposing instead that we are first and foremost seekers of love and acceptance. What if, rather than defining humans by what they know or do, we defined them by what they desire?
How would this change how we approach Christianity, and particularly how we promote our faith? Determining 'What do you love?'—not what you are buying, how you are spending your time, and what you are addicted to—these are the lowest-hanging fruits of our cultural dance. Distractions. Instead, we eyeball and drill down to questions of first loves and desires. Think about love as the starting menu, with knowledge only as a vitamin supplement.
The ballooning levels of anxiety and depression are a result of expectations that often have no bearing on what we truly want. This amnesia towards our natural, deep desires causes grief inside. Social change, gender issues, sexual expectations, success models, and the like have made mental pathways very complex, thereby clouding our real desires.
Knowledge doesn't teach us how to love. Everyday distractions grind away at destroying or at least distorting our love meter.
Love is built in by God—just covered in worldly lard. Love gets lost in life's fat roll and our Instagram feed.
Before you say it, I know this gets very loosey-goosey and feeds right into the 'do what feels good' mentality of the day, but maybe heart feelings are a better starting point than a desk and a bible and a concordance. I should have followed my heart more during the 30 or so years that precede this narrative. Instead, I bought way too many shares in the Head Office concept of faith. i.e., Christianity as a successful ‘business’ model and life choice. Now I want to deploy a more Augustine way of love: 'You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.'